Tuesday, February 26, 2008

20th Birthday: THERE WILL BE BLOOD

It's hard to type so this blog will be short.

Well I'm two decades old as of February 25th

In 1988 i was in a hospital, and in 2008 I was in a hospital.

Long story short, I broke Corbin's window trying to get my keys.

I lacerated my wrist and palm. There was BLOOD. Lots. Tasha and I freaked.

Emergency room, stitches and glue, PERCOCET. Balloons and Strawberries from Tasha and Claire.

Red Robin, cause you can't eat at the greenery on your B-Day. then The Reef

Thanks to all you for your birthday wishes and being there at the hospital and thereafter.

On another note, the lineup for Sasquatch 08 came out today!

It is almost a dream lineup for me. 3 days long this year. I've never gone, but this year I'm all in.
Who wants to go?
May 24-26
The Cure
New Pornographers
Modest Mouse
Flight of the Concords

that's just a few

Saturday, February 23, 2008

C to the A to the T to the Power

I picked up a Stranger to read backstage during the play today.

Cat Power is playing in April.

So going.

That's all.

Friday, February 22, 2008

I was meant for the stage

So tonight was the first showing of the play I'm in The Birds. Not the Hitchcock one, but the Greek comedy. It went pretty well, I got a bunch of laughs. A group of my friends were there also, it was really awesome to see them come out and watch me.

Being in this play has rebooted my love of theatre. I'm riding on some confidence and want to bring it into more plays at Evergreen. There is no other feeling like being on stage, feeling the laughs of other people charge you up like a battery.

I was joking with my friends about writing or directing my own play. Matt said I should write one about my imagination and what goes on in my head. Even though it sounds really cocky I kind of want to now. A theatrical display of the inside of my head. That's kind of the purpose of my blog but this would be visual. Maybe my ego is getting out of control.
.............Yes, I'd play myself.

A play I've always wanted to be in is Harvey. Plays at Evergreen are just so full of politics, sex and stuff, which is great too. I just want to do a light hearted fun play.

This lust of the stage has also prompted me to start going to Improv and Sketch meetings after the play.

My Old Man's coming over for the play Saturday to see my play and hang out. That's cool. He's gonna stay in my dorm, I thought it would be weird leaving him there while I go the cast party, but he's cool with it.

This play has also made me care a whole lot less about being shirtless.

I love the Reef.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Finding My Balance

I don't do well at balancing things. I mean this figuratively and literally.

I remember going Jr. gymnastics when I was like 6 or 7 with my childhood friend Carson. My favorite thing there was the foam pit because, well all you had to do was jump in it. I could not handle any of those balancing exercises. From then on I was doomed to inherit a clumsy and spazy personality. I'm cool with that.

I also can't balance my time.
Which leads to time spent with friends. Not to sound like Mr. Popular, but I've made a ton of friends at Evergreen. Now, I've been starting to feel the stretch of that. I want to be everywhere at once, I want to explode into the cosmos and be around them all. Not to mention my friends back home from La Conner. Donovan is the only who still is a big part in my life. I've kept contact with Jenny and a few others. All have us have grown into our own worlds. I feel like adulthood is starting to sink its claws into me and I've been on the run.

I can't balance my emotions.
I don't file them away neatly into the caverns of my brain. I don't rationally process them. I act on them in the raw moment. This makes for sticky situations.

An emotion is born in your stomach, it travels up into your heart where the heart decides how to feel, it then spreads that feeling through your body with each pump. That feeling flows in a wave through the arms to the legs and each toe, sinks in your bones, it crawls up your spin and makes its way into your head. There it explodes like a bomb. Your hair stands up.

I held you
felt every blood cell
move through you
in your hands
i saw mine
there was an
empty feeling in
my chest
then found
right there
in your gaze

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Decisions & Situations

Winter Quarter is gonna come to a close soon. Then I'll have to find a real class to take. After this year I will be halfway done with my Liberal Art's, then two more to be a teacher (if I still wanna do that). So I guess the programs I'm picking have more meaning to them.
Here's what I got:
Reality Check: Indian Images and (Mis)representations
- Most logical choice for my history endorsements.

So You Want to be psychologist?
- I don't want to be a psychologist I just want to learn about it. There's a field trip to California. $$$ and I'm sure teaching deals a lot with psychology.

Learning about Learning
- This is actually kinda for people who want to be teachers. But it kinda looks silly and not fun at all.

Poetry New York
- You go to New York to read, write, live, and breathe poetry. I'd have to turn in a 10 page portfolio. The poetry I write isn't anything special I just like making words sound pretty and make emotions look like something. I'd be out of my element. It would also expend all my travel savings. Actually I might not even have enough. It would also mean quiting my job.

I need to travel. I'm saving, but I don't know how long that stash of money can be saved. I want to do an Independent contract where I drive across the country. That's a year away. I also plan to live of campus and have a normal job next year. And shit always will happen and I'll have to dip in my savings. One thing I can do is keep my social spending down, but oh do I love going to The Reef and seeing movies.

Basically I'm hoping I'll find some sort of direction in my life. So friends that read this I'm open to advice via real life or here.

I've also been an ass lately. I don't have much for excuses. So I'm sorry, I'm trying to control myself. I'm starting to feel some weight on my shoulders.

I saw the Diving Bell and The Butterfly tonight. It was a fucking great movie. I suggest it to you all.

Bye the way, fuck Valentines Day.

Okay, maybe it's to easy to hate on Valentines Day. I'll see what happens, all I know is that I have to work.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Matt Meets La Conner

The drive was rainy and gloomy, but we made good time.

Matt got to see the views of the valley as we drove through Conway to La Conner. I was a little nervous about how he'd mix with my family and friends. We are Crazy. I introduced him to my Old Man and crazy Great Aunt Mary. Then I took him on a walking tour of La Conner. It rained like a bastard. We were wet, miserable, cold, and hungry. This led to getting some power muffins and bagels at Pioneer Market. Matt discovered his bagel had mold in it. Not a good start. Matt enjoyed the channel and named of a bunch of birds (he could say any name of a bird and I would believe him). He also fantisized about fishing. Had some Mexican food at El Gintano. After our bellies were filled we went to my old working place the Gull Station, I was a gas hop there, it's old school like that. It's also the local video store. We picked out the 5 for 5 for 5 deal: Rocky Balboa, Kevin Smith, Waiting, The Host, and Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom.

We watched Rocky and waited for Donovan to get off work (Safeway). Donovan is one best friend from La Conner and the driving force behind many of the shinanigans we get into. He gets to LC at 10ish and we head out for some urban exploring. We decide to reclaim The Cannery! The Cannery is old, condemned, dark, scary, dangerous, haunted and most importantly abandoned. To much frustration we can't find a way in. Donovan is trying one last attempt and I'm getting that feeling our luck is running out. I see head lights. "Car!" I yell. Donovan and I scramble to the back of a more modern marine building, Matt is having difficulty reacting, I grab him and bring him behind the structure. I take a peak, It's a sheriff car and it pulls up behind my parked Volvo. I tell Donovan, he doesn't believe me at first, but soon trust me upon hearing the panic in my voice. He immediatly disbands his B&E tools. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, I'm screwed." Donovan takes hold of the situation. "Come on lets think this through, walk this way." We move away from the building ninja like. "Okay, lets just say we went for a walk to Hole in the Wall." I reason. "Yeah! Perfect." says Donovan. "You just tell him that you're showing your friend from out of town around. Which is the truth." We loop around and casually walk to the car. To our luck the cop car is driving away. No ticket on my car either, weird. We take it as a sign and head back home to brainstorm our next adventure. We ended up eating cereal and watching TV.

My Dad woke us up. "There's a bunch of kayaks racing in the channel! Wanna come watch?" We stumble out of bed and walk to the channel where the kayaks are, only a couple yards from the cannery where we were last night. The only requirement in the race was muscle power. One guy used his arms to paddle, another guy had one leg! It was epic.

Next was the caucus. It was held in my old high school. Each area of La Conner was split up in groups according to where you live. Mine was in the gym. My Old Man, Matt, and I sat in the back like cool kids, Tom Robbins took a seat by us, obviously gravitated by our coolness. The leader opened the floor to anyone to speak for Hilary Clinton......nothing. Now for Obama. I looked around, then shot my hand up. I went down in front of the bleachers and explained why I support Obama. "I support Obama for a few simple reasons, I believe in his policy on the Iraq War, I do not believe in this war, my next concerns are health care and education. I come from a working class family and it would be nice to see some health care." I broke the ice, I was followed by a bunch of Obama supporters and a few Clinton ones. The delegate break down came to 7 Obama, 1 Clinton. We split up and nominated people as delegates. My Dad nominated me. All the nominees went up together said there name and what they wanted. I didn't know what the hell I was getting myself into. Anyway I got elected, I looked at the paper, 59 votes more than anybody else. That's pretty cool. So now I'm Delegate for Barack Obama of La Conner, WA. So on April 12th I go back to the County Caucus or something. I'm excited about this, I want to kick ass at it. I was joking with my Dad about starting a career in politics, become mayor of La Conner, then a senator, finally a run for president. Well I can dream can't I.

That night, when Donovan got off work we went back to The Cannery to find his stuff. We were found it without any close calls. Then Donovan had to get a paycheck at the Fire Dept. which is next to a sea cave. The tide happened to be out, our next adventure was upon us. We charged across the beach through the slippery seaweed and sharp barnacles. Matt was falling behind, he's used to his soft sandy beaches in California. He mentioned his worry of "Rouge Waves!" To that I explained our geographic location to ease his fear. We found the cave. Next came the tradition of going to the sea cave, once you get to the end of it you take a pee in it. All three of us made our marks then left the stormy seaside. Anacortes was next on the list. We went to the Donut House, they have French Curlers with pick icing there! The best thing the French ever did. We finished the night off driving around and going to a park by the marina, where Matt found a mysterious can of beer (Coors Light) unopened. Matt and Donovan shared the gift form the heavens. Donovan also managed to hit on a statue that night.

The Old Man and I stressfully filled out my FAFSA. Lets hope it went through smoothly. Sometimes it pays to be poor. I hope I get the same help I did this year. I also plan to live off campus which will be tougher money wise.
We drove back.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Adventure to Home!

Matt and I will be heading to La Conner tomorrow for the weekend.
ETA is about 2:30 Friday
ETD sometime Sunday

Fly down I-5 blast' n skate town music and drinking Gatorade.
Park, maybe put in some laundry.
Give him the tour of town.
Donovan gets off work @ 10ish
Nighttime Urban Exploring
Sleep?? Hot Pockets.

Hang out with the Old Man
Caucus for Obama
Figure out my FAFSA................not skate town
make up for un-skate town activities
Shoot guns with Donovan
More Exploring and adventuring fueled by pizza and Gatorade

Back to Evergreen

Thursday, February 7, 2008

The Weather.......

Is fucking crazy.

And so is my job.

And so is my life.

Monday, February 4, 2008

When Everything Looks to be Gloom, Just Yell

The New York Giants won the Super Bowl!

I don't think much of you reading this cares, but this was one of the greatest Super Bowls of all time. What an upset! At the end of the night my voice was almost gone from yelling so much. Every so often I'd look at Jai's face, she just looked at us in awe. Anyway Tasha and I put a cup of coffee at The Reef on the line. A bunch of us went there and I enjoyed my victory cup of coffee.

Underdogs. Everything in the world will seemingly be going the other way, but some how, some where, there will be an underdog there to upset the whole balance.

Being in a play can be fun, but it also bits into my time. Lame.

It's my sisters birthday, better call her.

Back to Jai's face. It's funny how big a role sports plays in human culture. I grew up with football, the Super Bowl was always like a holiday around my house. This has been passed on to me. At Evergreen the majority of people don't care about it. That's different to me. It was really fun to have those who showed up cheering with me. It sucks how liking a certain sport creates a personality you're supposed to fit. If you like football it means you're a backwards hat wearing bro, soccer/hippie and so on. I kinda lost track with what I was trying to say, you get it. Everyone has there on thing and people should just have fun with it.

I'm heading to good Old La Conner this weekend. My buddy Matt Louvy Louvitto is probably coming along. It will be fun to so him around my old stomping ground. I feel when I bring my college friends to LC they get a better understanding of who I am.

There's a cigarette
smoldering on the edge
of his drooped lips
eyes squinted hard
making sure the lines are
straight and even
the hum and idle of
the lawnmower create the
monsters roar
tearing green flesh
onto his New Balance
a forgotten G.I. Joe
is in impending doom
the roar stops
holds it in
his sweaty hand
he his returned to
his fort at the
base of a tree

Friday, February 1, 2008

Puddle Dancing in February

It's February. The craziest month of them all. I mean it's spelled weird and has only 28 or 29 days depending on the year. It's a leap year this year. I also turn 20 on the 25th, there's that stupid holiday about love, Day of Absence, Day of Presence, and the mother Freak'n SUPER BOWL. Every weekend this month is booked for me, which is cool because February also has the most miserable weather.

I've been feeling super good lately. Not exactly sure why, I'm should be stressed out about my job and school work, but I'm just not.

Oh yeah I'm in a play. It's called The Bird's (not Hitchcock) being but on by the Phron. I play Heracles which is the Greek version of Hercules. For this part I go on stage basically without a shirt on. I am super self conscious when my shirt is off. The play is on 21, 22, 23 of February. The last weekend. I think my old man is coming up to see it. That's cool.

I'm going to La Conner next weekend. I need to get some shit in order, and it's away to get out of Oly. It's funny to think I'm going to La Conner to get out. I need to figure out my FAFSA crap. So hopefully my good for nothing employers get my W2 out. It's also the Saturday when the state caucus is. So I get to go to my old high school and yell about how cool Obama is. Some of my friends are coming along to. I love showing people where I grew up. To most of them it's extremely different to their hometown.

I've decided to stay away from blogging about much romantic stuff in my life. You know, it just doesn't belong here. Except maybe poetry or something super important. But I think I doubted myself to soon on my "ouch" post.

I'm having a Super Bowl Party on my floor. Tasha's helping put. The Super Bowl is probably my favorite holiday, and it's not even a real holiday. It's the New England Patriots V. New York Giants. I'm rooting for the Giants because I hate the Patriots(cheaters) and I always side with the underdog. Just to make things interesting, Tasha always roots against me. This normally ends in her favor because I root for the underdog.

I saw Rambo. I was kinda surprised. Yeah it had a whole bunch of outrageous action and violence. But deep in there was a shimmer of a meaning. In a strange sense it brings attention to the genocide in Burma. It also plays on violence and all the fucked up shit in the world and how people can seem so hopeless.