Sunday, December 30, 2007

Crazy Lady at Jack in the Box

Leon and I were a sit'n and watch'n the Giants Pats games. The New England Patriots are now 16-0, first time a time has done that since the Dolphins way back in the 60's. The Giants almost had them, god i hate the Patriots. Yes i always root for the underdog, but the Patriots are more than a good football team their cheaters. Nobody remembers they cheated way back when. Fuck that noise. I wonder if it's some weird reflection of my personality that i always root for the underdog. I only enjoy victory in the least likely form. 

So we get a aching for cheese burgers. Wendy's? Nah, square burgers. Fuck that shit. We opt for the only fast food I find acceptable in these situations. Jack in the Crack. We get there and order our burgers. Leon is whistling the Moldy Peaches i was playing in the car. Then this old lady yells, "No whistling!" Leon smiles awkwardly and stops his tune. My cRaZy lady alarm is going off. See looks like a Mrs. Claus on crack. I grab our burgers and sit down. I'm about to bite in and the lady yells to Leon "Get me some Ketchup!" I look at him in horror. He smiles and says please and thank you goes a long way. I want out, people don't talk to people in fast food joints. She asks us were we're from. I say Twin Peaks, and smile at leon so she doesn't see me. She continues to babel on about snow and her blue truck. I'm 3/4 on the burger. A ketchup packet wizzies past my ear and lands on the table. Leon has nothing left, he just looks around. Let's get the hell out of here. He nods and we leave. 

New Years is my least favorite holiday ever. Its right up with Valentines Day. But Valentines at least brought me joy as a kid. New Years sucks. If your a student the real "new year" is in the fall, that's when have some sort of fresh start. New years have just always been crappy for me. What's with that whole bring in the new year with a kiss and get totally wasted....... Maybe it has to do with that witch that cursed me back when i was 9. More on that later...... If anyone has ideas on how to have a good New Years let me know. 

I've been watching Pushing Daisies, good show.  

Friday, December 28, 2007

Almost Getting Arrested

I almost got arrested today. I was hanging out with Katherine Paul, she rocks. We were on our way to The Business* in Annacortes. On the way we saw a bunch of old junk on this beach in Summit Park. We decided to go check it out and take some pictures. We found an old transit bus that was so badass! Even more Badass was finding an old rusty sign that said explosives on it. I set it to the side and continued to explore. 

As we left i took the sign with me. I broke rule 2 of Urban Exploring, "Do not take property, at least in an obvious way." I should've at least waited until night but this sign was so badass that i couldn't wait. DUMB! 

After going to The Business and having pizza at Village I got a call from my old man. He was angry, he said the Sheriff was there looking for me, something about an explosives sign. 

Fuck! I tell Kathy we have to go. I was calm at first but she started to get me freaked out. Crap who saw us, the owner, oh god the owner is gonna be some crazy old man. I'm going to jail, I'm gonna hand cuffed, court, lawyers, fines, I ain't got the goozalas for this shit. I dropped Katherine off and drove to my impeding doom. Canada then Cuba, start a new life. Oh shut up. I rolled up and saw my Old Man red faced in the driveway. Then the silver Sheriff car. Why the fuck is Sheriff car silver, fuck that shit I bet this hooptie wagon has rims. "Charlie, can I see the sign," Sure i say, i know this cop, he's aight. 

Long story short he said i could get arrested for trespassing and theft. Lucky me, the owner was cool and didn't press charges he just wanted his sign back. Cool Beans. The sheriff told me to stay out of trouble while i was in town. My Old Man said it was cool sign but i was a fucking idiot. This is true. 

I got a $25 itunes card for xmas. I got some stuff I'm into so tell me if you approve. 
Juno soundtrack, includes Kimya Dawson, Moldy Peaches, Belle & Sebastian, The Kinks some: 
Lily Allen
The Blow 
Tokyo Police Club 
The National 
Landon Pigg 

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Winter Break

So I haven't updated in awhile, I got caught up in all that holiday cheer and whatnot. Christmas was cool, I was at my Mom's house then went to my Dads girlfriends. My sister got me Apples to Apples, the greatest game ever. I played it late christmas night with my Dad and Gaye's (girlfriend) friends and family. Gaye has two sons Eric and Ross, they both rock. Ross is probably the nicest person ever, although he made me sing, which normally wouldn't be a problem but I get real embarrassed around my family. I'll have to put up a link to Ross's blog, it's fantastic.

Prank calls suck. It wasn't that I am sad about what they said to me, it's more that I'm sad people would say things like they did. I miss the Evergreen bubble. I'm going to remember this feeling if I'm about to make assumptions about people. Anyway it's weird.

You know Blackwater, that private army group. What a creepy organization. Their name cracks me up. You think they could come up with a better name for shady mercenary organization hired by the government. It sounds like something from a movie. Like maybe if they named it Pink Fuzzy Bunnies, people wouldn't notice them so much. Blackwater, come on! How fucking evil do you want to sound. At least it fits. 

On a good not i saw Juno last night. It was so sweet. Kimya Dawson and Moldy Peaches soundtrack was FANTASTIC. Once i see Atonement and There Will Be Blood I'll make a top 5 or 10 list. Stay tuned kiddos. 

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Batman Nerd

Last weekend I saw I Am Legend. This was a pretty good flick. Often, when talking with my movie nerd friends I bring up that Will Smith is the last movie star. Key word, movie star, the mere fact that he is in a movie will mean that the film will have success. I can't think of a movie he was in that wasn't at least successful in box office. I Am Legend made more money in a opening week for the month of December in movie history. Case closed. 

I must admit, the most exciting part for me was The Dark Knight (next Batman film) trailer that played. I just about shit my pants when I saw this preview. For real, real. I grabbed my friend next to me, I knew what was in the first nanosecond. If that's not proof of my nerdom, I don't know what is. Christopher Nolan gave the Batman franchise its balls back with Batman Begins and I've been waiting for the next one since. Nolan has been the first director to actually make a film that pays tribute to Batman's true badassness. Also during I Am Legend there is a giant billboard in the background with a Batman logo and a Superman logo. Cool. 

You can find the new Batman trailer on youtube, just search "the dark knight" 

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Nothing to do on a Saturday Night? Chug Milk.

It's my second night home and I'm at Donovan and Ari's apartment in Mount Vernon. We're bored. This happens a lot in Skagit Valley because nothing is open after 10. Only Haggen, Denny's, and Shari's. We decide to go to Haggen, a 24 hour grocery store, to get candy and donuts. 

We sample much of the bulk candy and I get a christmas colored donut. Next would come milk. Donovan dares Mike to drink a gallon of milk in an hour. He backs out and I but in, "I can do it on 25 minutes no problem." What was i thinking. Donovan takes my offer, i have to buy the milk if i can't drink it.  

We go back to the apartment, i eat some of my donut and start to chug the milk. This is easy i think. I keep chugging then set it down and look, I've barley made a dent. I keep going at it. My stomach surges, I'm running out of room. My sides start to ache, I can feel my liver and kidneys working overtime. The pain brings me to my knees and my head stings all over. I'm ready to throw up. Ask anyone who knows me, I don't throw up, I haven't since sixth grade. I want to throw up but i can't. 

Donovan shows me "two girls and a cup" on his computer. I DO NOT want to explain what this is, and i urge you all never to see this. This video prompts me to throw up. Milky cottage cheese in all its glory. I still didn't get much out and felt like shit. 

Long story short being bored leads to stupid ideas. 

And apparently you can overdose on dairy.   

Sunday, December 9, 2007

End of Quarter Parties, ADHD, and Star Wars

Last night I went to my classes end-of-the quarter party. I actually had fun. So what! You might think that's what happens at parties, you have fun. For me that's not really the case. I'm not a drinker, not that a have some rule or code, I just don't choose to drink. I've had a hard time with this in the past. And by hard time I mean I'm an asshole. Recently I have been trying to wrestle my "asshole daemon" by respecting peoples decisions in life, that mine are not righter than others in the least bit.

I came to the party with a 12 pack of root beer and joined in a drinking game that was beyond me. I was called a vagina at one point(which was more silly than offensive) but for the most part my peers respected my choice. I punched my judgments in the face and decided to have fun. I danced to outkast and played go fish. What a night.

Today I woke up to Riley screaming at my balcony. "CHARRLLLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Come out here there's snow!" I look outside, then go back to bed. I wake up it's half melted. I realize i'm out of cereal. Reef, I'll go to the Reef, eat, and work on my Eval.

I took the bus, this was a nice change to driving. I sat in a both and got out my notepad and pre-wrote, looking like such a cool sexy college student. I ordered a coffee, 1 pancake, and 1 egg.
I do this think where O put the egg under my pancake, pour on syrup, and stab it with my fork. The yellow yoke bleeds out of the pancake like it got shot.

Anyway, I'm really proud of myself for this. When I do to town or run errands by myself I feel uncomfortable, I feel like an adult, I'm more comfortable surrounded by people talking. I've also been working on conquering this. Also I've discovered I work well in public areas, it's not that i just want to look sexy reading and writing in a coffee shop, it actually helps me concentrate. I think it has something to with my obvious hyper activity and attention span problem. If my parents weren't as cool as they are I'd probably by on medication for ADHD or ADD since middle school.

Oh! A couple of nights ago some friends and I were walking through Macy's. Matt and I found gemmed Star Wars hoodies. Darth Vader, Yoda, Boba Fett, and a Stormtrooper. Now as proud Start Wars nerd I find this blasphemous! Boba Fett is NOT allowed to be gemmed GOD DAMN IT! Why George Lucas Why? Doesn't he know he's hurting his dearest fans? What demographic are they aiming for? Paris Hiltons that love stormtroopers!!??!! What is the world coming to?

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Cabela's & The American Dream

I live in Olympia, north of Olympia is a city called Lacy. Olympia has a coffee shop, tattoo parlor, and book store on every corner. Lacy has a Super Wal-Mart, Sizzlers, and lastly Cabela's.

If you're not familiar Cabela's is the worlds foremost outfitter in hunting, fishing, and outdoor gear. It started as a mail order magazine, and now they are building "showrooms" across the country.

Matt, Riley, Julien, and I a packed in my Volvo. I guys night out in a sense. I'm looking do some sort of American culture experience out of this. Like Hunter S. Thompson in Las Vegas before me. Most people at Evergreen would not understand why I'm so excited for this. As i drive up the parkway the illuminated gold letters of Cabela's rise out of the ground. It is a castle in log cabin formation, gigantic. The parking lot is packed, primarily the stereotypical vehicles that shoppers at Cabela's would own, trucks and SUV's complete with firefighter and Bush decals.

As we enter the doors we are greeted by a mountain display full of every type of animal imagined, all stuffed and placed in epic positions. It is a tribute to anything and everything in North America that can be hunted. Above the mountain is yellow pieper airplane hanging in the air. My eyes dodge around uncontrollable. This is the vortex of the American dream, where do I start? Thats question answered when we ind a tunnel inside the mountain, the tunnel leads us to an aquarium, blue gills and bass on one side, trout on the other!

Matt is quickly swifted into the fishing section while Julien, Riley and I head up stairs and find the guns. And guns we find, a wall of guns. I've never seen anything like this before, so many guns a small war could erupt. I hold a rifle, it makes me feel powerful yes, but badass, not in the least bit. At the end of the gun wall is a shooting gallery. Kids and families take take shots at a howling wolf behind a barrel of whiskey. Little cute killers, how wonderful. I find Riley yelling in the camping section. "Look guys a gas powered blender. Can you believe it?" Oddly I can.

It is easy to make assumptions about these people. Write them off as redneck scum. I'm not here to do that. I'm a beast splashing about in a sea of culture. We all get hung up on how people are supposed to live. This is right, this is wrong and really most of the time we forget that people don't all think the same. It's funny how i can drive 15 minutes and find my self in Evergreen's bizzarro world.

I was thinking about getting some wool socks but it was time to leave. Riley had enough of this place when he saw the stuffed elephant in the Africa display.

The Road

So right now I'm reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy, the guy who wrote No Country for Old Men. Which is a kick ass movie by the way. Anyway, its fucking good. When I really get into a book or movie I have a habit of living them out in my real life.

The Road takes place in an ash ridden post-apocalyptic America.

What does everybody want when the world goes to shit or zombies become a reality?
Guns, food, and water.

This led me to offhandedly say to a friend that I wanted a gun. My friend, Riley, although completely wrong on his zombie philosophy, (He thinks a bow and arrow would make the best weapon.) was disgusted at my remark. Secretly i was too. No way would i admit this, so I went full steam into my reasoning. (read The Road)

I don't really want to own a gun. Just the fact that I would have one is ridiculous enough to want one. Also my strange fantasies and paranoia would to fulfilled almost to well. More on this later.

I saw The Golden Compass tonight, pretty much same old crap. But, there was one hell of a polar bear fight.