Saturday, December 15, 2007

Nothing to do on a Saturday Night? Chug Milk.

It's my second night home and I'm at Donovan and Ari's apartment in Mount Vernon. We're bored. This happens a lot in Skagit Valley because nothing is open after 10. Only Haggen, Denny's, and Shari's. We decide to go to Haggen, a 24 hour grocery store, to get candy and donuts. 

We sample much of the bulk candy and I get a christmas colored donut. Next would come milk. Donovan dares Mike to drink a gallon of milk in an hour. He backs out and I but in, "I can do it on 25 minutes no problem." What was i thinking. Donovan takes my offer, i have to buy the milk if i can't drink it.  

We go back to the apartment, i eat some of my donut and start to chug the milk. This is easy i think. I keep chugging then set it down and look, I've barley made a dent. I keep going at it. My stomach surges, I'm running out of room. My sides start to ache, I can feel my liver and kidneys working overtime. The pain brings me to my knees and my head stings all over. I'm ready to throw up. Ask anyone who knows me, I don't throw up, I haven't since sixth grade. I want to throw up but i can't. 

Donovan shows me "two girls and a cup" on his computer. I DO NOT want to explain what this is, and i urge you all never to see this. This video prompts me to throw up. Milky cottage cheese in all its glory. I still didn't get much out and felt like shit. 

Long story short being bored leads to stupid ideas. 

And apparently you can overdose on dairy.   

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Charlie, it's Samantha.
Honestly now, though, you should be careful with ingesting large amounts of anything.. you're lucky it came up a more natural (albeit involuntary) way than being pumped out, no joke.
Sorry to sound patronizing.. anyways.. hello!

ps-i don't really* give out the link to my blog, it's kindof a secret that i won't divulge.

*as in, only to two people and that's it. don't take it personally.

Matthew Louv said...

This one time, a guy I knew at a party tried this and threw up in a metal bucket that he proceeded to carry around with him everywhere for, like, half an hour. I had to persuade him not to take it in his car to go show it to people who weren't at the party.

It's a physically impossible feat to accomplish. Like eating the saltines.

Also, my friends just told me about two girls one cup but I have not seen it. The horror.