Time Capsule

I got my Old Man's ipod over break, he got a brand new one, his is old but it holds way more music than my nano. Almost 5,000 songs.

I read somewhere that scent is the strongest part of out memory or something like that. Well sound has got to be a close runner up. My computer at home collects the music of my Dad, sister, and I. We like and dislike each others music to a point. If I had a bigger ipod in high school it would be half full of only my music. (the whole I gotta be different thing) When I got this ipod I had all my music in it, but with so much space, most of the music is my Old Man's. Besides the fact that in my fathers expansive music library had undeniable artists: Bob Dylan, Neil Young, R.E.M, The Who, The Rolling Stones, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Waits that you let yourself share, even when you're an independent teen. I found myself attached to the many songs and artists I swore I would never listen to.

Maybe I was brain washed into liking them over years of playing or maybe my new/old ipod is musical time capsule of nostalgia. Stuff I grew up on like Steve Earl, John Hiatt, and John Prine being blasted out of our post-divorce shitty house of F & S Grade Rd while he mowed the lawn with a cigarette hanging from his mouth and me playing with G.I. Joe's and X-wings. (Tasha is one of the only people I know that relates to the John Hiatt thing, Amanda and many people relate to growing up to the Boss.)

Now I even like stuff he doesn't listen to anymore, mostly stuff him and my mom listened to when they where together.

It also struck me how much cooler he is then me. Well he has had 28 years on my to get cooler. But when I think about it he's introduced most of the world's best music to me, and laid down a music history for me, that influences my taste now. Also he can where insulated crocks and rebuild a trailer and not know how cool it is. Maybe it's that almost 50 year old man coolness that sets in and makes up for being such a loser in high school, but really you're the coolest one there just no one knows it yet.

How taste does change, what was discovering then and now

Sophomore year of high school

• Nirvana
• Pearl Jam
• The Cure
  
• The Pixies
  
• Social Distortion
  
• PUSA
  

Sophomore year of college

• Natalie Portman's Shaves Head
• The Blow
• M.I.A
• Cat Power
  
• Wilco
  
• Ghostland Observatory
  

First CD I bought on my own: Smash Mouth

On the edge of a continent

In a kind of impulsive unplanned idea Riley and I went on a sort spring break vacation. We backpacked and camped at Second Beach in La Push, Washington. I found the place on the Olympic National Parks website. Second beach is west of Forks right on the Washington cost. It was sand and rock stacks facing the void of the Pacific Ocean, we were at the edge of a continent. It's a haunting feeling facing the open ocean, nothing in front of you for miles but the vast blue of the biggest ocean in the world.

Day 1 On the drive there we stopped at the World's Largest Spruce Tree, I peed on it of course. We hiked about a mile to the beach and found a great site on a small bluff above the shore. We made camp, explored and ate vegetarian chili and bread. Made fire, then slept.

Day 2 Oatmeal, then more exploring, we walked to the end of the breach. There are pictures on facebook if you want a looksie. We tried to track animal footprints in the sand, to no avail. I built a fort out of drift wood and Riley made a sundial. Everything was fine until night. It was warmer than the night before but the wind was picking up. The wind got even stronger followed by rain, lots and lots of rain. There would be no sleep. It was scary, it felt like the rain fly and tent could blow away any minute. Poseidon was behind us and he was angry! Maybe it was because I peed on the world's largest spruce tree. It hit me in the night that as we tried to sleep our backs faced an entire ocean, we were at the mercy of it. There could be some storm or tsunami and we wouldn't have a clue. I've lived my the sea my whole life but where I lived was different it was protected by peninsulas and islands.

Day 3 Well we made it through the night. In the morning I pooped on the beach between the privacy of drift wood. There was no one around, I just felt like the ocean was watching me.

Sleep and the Empire

What I do before I sleep.

1. check facebook
2. check e-mail
3. check blogs
4. look at Toothpaste for Dinner, Natalie Dee, and Married to the Sea
   
5. look at cnn.com to make sure the world hasn't ended
   
6. look at nfl.com, cause I'm a football nerd (it's possible)
   
7. yum cereal
   
8. facebook
9. brush teeth
10. read until my eyes do that funny thing

I just watched Empire Strikes Back, god that movie rocks. It's the best one hands down. You know what the biggest problem with the new ones is? No Han Solo character, there is no scoundrel in I,II and III.

Pi Day

I'm sleep deprived and my head is full of the Civil War. I'm done with the quarter but I don't feel the least bit relieved.

It's pi day and all want is to have some pie.

But pie's not good for you.

I feel beat up and hallow. The things I care about seem selfish, and when I accomplish them I only find new things to worry about.

I'm starting to realize I will never be able to travel in the near future. I hate money. I envy those who get to travel. I want a piece of the pie. That forbidden slice of pie. How dare you admit that you're just in it for the money. Maybe I've just convinced myself I need to travel.

When I was young I used to stick my head in the couch, the part where the bottom cushion meets the arm. I would wedge my head in there and pretend I was a mole and I would fit and find a world living in the cushions of the couch. I would just float around a world of soft cushion goodness.

Everyone's got their pie pan, you just need to be able to afford the ingredients, know how to make it, and let it bake in the oven.

Why do I still believe in capitalism? My family hasn't seen much good out of it.

Maybe the rain is getting to me
and the lack of sleep

I'll feel better, sorry for the rant

Nothing can happen more beatiful than death

Joe Bowen, a friend of mine passed away this morning.

He's gone now, and that's it. I will miss him, as will anyone that knew him. I'm not going to talk about how he died, that's not important. What is important is remembering him and reflecting on his time here.

Joe it was a blast. Going to the drive-in seeing Talladega Nights with the hope of running into some girls that may have been there. Eating pizza in the back of a cramped hybrid with Katy Blevins.

Drinking Fader-ade at bible studies thinking they didn't have a clue.

I still have that vanilla flavored mini vodka bottle you gave me before I left for college. I don't know whether to save it or drink it in your honor. I'm leaning to the later.

You sitting behind me in Biology class thinking I'm the craziest mother fucker in the world. And somehow getting past it.

Encouraging me to wrestle.

Thank you Joe, you are forever in my memories.

Awhile ago a made a "Life List" to accomplish over my life. And though life can't be compounded to a list of goals it is nice to see them listed, a map for something important to do on this wild ride we call life. It takes death, most of the time to slap us into sense. It's unattainable, it can go in a blink.

The Life List of Charlie Huddleston

• Graduate from college
• Road trip across America
• Write a comic book
• Write a novel
• Learn to ride a bike
• Go to Europe
• Perform in a band
  
• Open my own diner/business
  
• Make out in an elevator
  
• Spend a whole day in bed with someone I love
• Become a teacher
• Have a family
  
• Run for mayor of a town
• Build a tree house
  

This is what I have, I could add more over time.


Nothing can happen more beautiful than death - Walt Whitman

Butterflies in My Stomach at the Reef

So I'm kind of on top of the world right now.

On a sad note, my close friend Tasha got fired a couple days ago. Our bosses are monsters.

For some reason I woke up at 8:30, I thought that was weird so I went back to sleep and woke up to a phone call. Tasha, "Lets go to the Greenery." Then Riley, "Lets go to the Greenery fool."

I went to the Greenery.

Yesterday
I got all stressed out and in a panic, so I called my Old Man, he was actually home. We talked for about half an hour and it was good. He helped calm me down. We talked about football, ipods, camping in his refurbished trailer, and work. I was freaked out because I had everything set up last year. I need a job this summer, I'll need to find a house/apartment, find a job in Olympia during the school year. Good fucking Grief! He said I'd be fine.

Okay, I'm venting.

Why I'm on top of the world? Just because of the magic that happens at The Reef.

Did you know stomachs have their own brains. Like to tell you when to poo. I learned this at The Reef among many other wonderful things.

Our Ship is Sinking

Fuck you
i don't need you
i don't want you
now look at you're hands all
full of blood where
my heart used to sit
in your
grasp
you had complete control
captain of the mother fucking
ship, and
you plunged it into
the sea
fuck you
you can't have it
the ship is sinking but
i won't let you
take it down with you
this heart is mine
maybe I should thank you
for leaving me there
in the cold night air
it was refreshing
really
a wake up call
about
how you feel
to me
now I'm safe in
a lifeboat
just me and my heart

The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over The Hills

Today was pretty great. Yeah I haven't blogged in awhile, for those 3 people that read this.

I had a meeting with Peggster, it went pretty well. I can now trust her as a reference.

It was sunny and I kept running into people on Red Square. I ran into Kaelyn, a friend that was in The Birds. I went to get I CD I made for her, but couldn't give cause she was sick on the last show. We hung out in th library and it was super fun.

I got some letters and stamps at the book store! (thank you letter to Gramps) And for mailing in Apps for summer jobs.

Which could be:
Camp Orkila or another camp
Wild Life/Natural Resources Service
WA State Parks Service
Wild Forest Fire Fighter
or whatever I can find

I'm still deciding if I'm staying in Oly or going back to LC to work.

And on that, getting a F'n house for next year/summer. I want something with a yard so I can get a duck and name it Sunscreen. West side would be cool. One can dream. I'm in the talks with several people for rooming. (Matt Louv, Caleb, anyone from the 4th floor)

I had a Burf-Day Party last Saturday. It was a fucking Blast! Thank you all.

Brett Favre retired today. It feels weird. He is the greatest quarterback of my time, if not ever.

Oh Spring is coming, shit. I want to have a film contest for a program, and bring back the slip n' slide with Riley and Tasha.

Dams, my Old Man was right. The older you get, the faster timer goes by.

The title comes from my favorite Bukowski book of poetry.