Epiphany

My class field trip to Utah was pretty great.
On our first full day in Ogden we hiked a trail up to a peak on the Wasatch Mountain range.
It was the toughest hike I have ever done. I mean we were hiking on the freaking snow line! And as corny as it sounds when I reached the top of that peak every thing seemed clear. I had an epiphany, maybe several about my life.

I want to help protect the environment. I want to do everything I can to reasonable help out. I want to be outside for most of my life. I want be a part of nature. I want to help and teach kids about nature. On a personal level I want to be a nicer person. More caring and aware of the feelings of every person I hold dear.

I'm still not even sure what it all means yet. People keep telling me to be a park ranger. I'm not sure about that.

In the Future

So in my last year of high school we has this class called senior seminar. I don't know if this is a Washington state thing or a La Conner thing. But anyway, it was basically a class were you took personality tests and choose to two careers you would like to do in the future, do a job shadow, then present your "plan for the future" to a board of "community" members. I remember they made it seem very important, and now that a look back on it, like most things in high school it wasn't important at all.

So what I wish I said was that I think I would reach my highest potential in a post-apocalyptic America. Whether it be Skynet, google, zombies, cannibals, Russians, robots, aliens what have you.
This would be my time to shine! Then I would say my backup plan was to be a teacher.

Big Pimp'n

Haven't blogged in awhile. Hands have been to tired from finishing that paper.

This Spring Break has been kinda different. Went home for 4 days at the end of eval week, then spent the rest of break in Olympia. Feeling more and more like home here. More Friends here.

Donovan is moving to Seattle. This makes me kinda sad and happy, because when I come home he will likely not be around, but he will be closer in Seattle and it will be fun excuse to go to the big city.

The old man had his gull bladder removed and was walking around like a crazy person in the garage on vico!

I am super excited about my class this quarter. I'm glad Matty Louv is in it too. Like the olden days of freshmen year.

Also excited about Operation Not Having any Fun! Hella camping! Bridgetown Comedy Festival sounds fun too.

Haven't heard from Camp Kirby yet. Making my nervous. I may have to go to Alaska! Yikes!

Give you some poop for wheat

I'm currently on Laurels computer because for the first time since probably when I bought my computer at the end of my senior year in high school Windows is making me sign in!

I have know idea what it is. I can't do anything on that damn computer. I've tried all sorts of things. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, I have that paper to write for my contract and if i don't figure it out soon this means writing in the library. And although my W and R keys stick I still love tying on my computer. Home field advantage. 

20-30 page paper...................fuck me. 

In good news I got in the class I wanted! Educating on the Wild Side. I get to learn about ecology and work with kids in parks and go camping. Fun!

Do you know what's not fun? Settlers of Katan. Fuck that game!  

Post 100! It should be about something Important

And it is.
I was in the store today, and now that I can turn my sugar blinders off, I noticed THIS!

Will somebody tell me

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE MAGICIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ???

And THIS is what a Hostess Fruit Pie should look like. Mmmmmm my favorite, blackberry.

I'm sure there's not as many people in the world that care about this as much as I do.

Oh wait.

I first fell in love with these delicious diabetes filled gooey treats way back in the day when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was coming out and you could get cards with them. Blackberry is pretty much the only kind I eat, but it's just not the same without the magician.

Okay, enough of this. Since it's my 100th post lets take a look back at what I was doing when I started this blog. It was last year, I was a sophomore and a RA on campus. The fall of that year I was in possibly the best class I have or will ever take at Evergreen, American Eye. I was learning the basics of black and white photography. I don't think I hated my job yet. Went to Cabella's and wrote about it. This leads to another funny story in self reflection

In a game of marry, baff(fuck), kill among friends, Tasha brought up the options of freshman year Charlie, sophomore year Charlie, and Junior year Charlie.
In all the answers sophomore year Charlie gets killed. Wonder what that means.
It was a toss up on Jr. and freshmen year Charlie getting baffed and married.

Turning 21

Its been a pretty active week or so.

My birthday has been awesome I kind of feel guilty how spoiled i have been. It's like I've been celebrating for a week.

First I get a bike from my Dad early in February and new phone from my mom.

On Wednesday the 25th (actual B-day) I ruin a mini surprise party Tasha gathered. It was suppose to be rehearsal for her film, which I am always late for, but I happened to be about 30 minutes early to this one because I had ice cream cake(mom, again) that could melt. Oh well it was still fun. She set up a cornucopia of sugar filled treats, day olds from Wagners. AMAZING. what a sugar rush, followed by a stomach ache. Matt Louv, Freddy D, and Lauren were there to.
Then Matt Louv gave me a gift, a freaking fishing pool! no wait a rod and reel with line. So great!

And later that night when he, Claire and Brian went out to the bars with me he paid for my first drink. Oh and that night, what a night.
Claire has video footage of me doing a monologue about being in the civil war and writing letters home. That was toward the end of the night after the jager bomber......which DESTROYED me.
The first place we went was the Brother Hood, turned out to be my favorite of the night
I has a rum and coke, chocolate cake, and white Russian.
Then Jake's, free thing, watermelon jolly rancher, taste just like it too
I was going to do karaoke, but it took to long. $4 Hot dogs!
Lastly Charlies, where they gave me a jager bomb.........fuck

Thursday, one of the last TV nights. Cooked dinner for people.

Friday, was the big party. A LOT of people came. hella cereal, still eating it. Got pretty silly and drunk.
Tasha, Corbin, and Amanda got me this big ass fully automatic nerf gun called the vulcan
Lilly got me a really cute dinosaur sandwich cutter
Matt O. and Mark got me an American themed bag, with Jeff Gordon poster, so funny
I got a very cute hand made card from Celena
And an army of cereal boxes!
Thank you everyone for be so great and making it such a fun birthday!

Oh before hand Tasha and I went to pick up Nathan in Tacoma. Bought Alcohol from a liquor store and for the first time. It felt so forbidden, like I was getting away with something. I felt like my ID was fake even though it wasn't. felt that way when I would first walk into a bar.
Drinking is so weird and I'm still trying to figure it out.

So far I've concluded it's a socially acceptable way for adults to act silly and more like a kid

Fair Well Youth

I'm in my last hour as an underage person. Don't feel any different yet.
Also I can't wait to sink my teeth into a brownie at the stroke of midnight.

Good news for the Arrested Development movie

Pancakes in the morning, HELL YES!

ummmmmmmmmmm

Then get new license and meet with Tasha about her movie

Hit the bars.

My Old Man said I should give him a call that night, said he's never heard what I sound like when inebriated.
weird

I don't think he wants to know.

studied up my beers online. I hope I can be a porter kind of guy

Fuck Umbrellas!

First Sketch show was tonight. It went pretty. Lots of people lots of laughs.
Matt Olsen and I had the most epic pizza ever at Apollos after the show, bbq sauce, chicken, bacon, cheese, and pepperchinies.

Maybe It's the nicer weather or the sketch show, but I've been feeling awesome lately.

Talked to my Mom today and I mentioned the bakery and seemed pretty excited about it.

I decided to wash and clean out my car, being a nice day and all.
Cleaning out your car reveals a lot about your lifestyle.
Here's what I found

• Several hand fulls of gum wrappers (I chew a lot of gum)
• I filled a bag full of assorted paper and trash
• super man spoon and fork
• 2 umbrellas ( I do not use umbrellas. Where did they come from?)
• shards of broken plastic from door
• shame fully stowed away jack in the box bag
  
• 1 shoe belonging to Corbin
• 3 socks which belong to Corbin
• 2 personal notebooks belonging to Corbin
• some of my Dads CD's
  
• double barrel buzzbee generic nerf shotgun
• 1 fire cracker
  
• 2 emergency hand crank up radio/flashlights
• 1 football
• 2 coffee cups
  
• 2 stuffed animals
• laser tip wire
  
• 1 curtain that Corbin is spose to return
  
• 42 flattened cereal boxes for cereal fort

Dear god could you imagine if I got in a car wreck.(knock on wood)

My Old Man and Gaye are coming down tomorrow, watch the sketch show and what not.

Oh man, last Late Night with Conan O'brien tonight.

so tired but must stay up for Conan

10 Favorite Movies of 2008

1. The Wrestler
2. Wall-E
3. The Dark Knight
4. Milk
5 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
6. Burn After Reading
7. Gran Torino
8. Step Brothers
9. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
10. The Foot Fist Way

Bakery Continued

I may take classes at South Puget Sound Community college and transfer the credit to evergreen.

or do it after I graduate. I feel if I got some essential basics down I could take it from there.
Also some business and restaurant management classes would be nice.

Lily Expressed interest in taking a cake class with me. : )

I want to have experts in all areas
Pie
Cake and cup cakes
rolls, pastries, and danishes
cookies
bread
vegan/alt diet goods

also Tasha can be a server.

Makes sense at 12:44 AM

I think I want to be a baker. Own and operate my own bakery.

Nothing at Evergreen could prepare me for that.

I may go to a different school.

to be continued..............................................................

Valendumbs Day

"It's just a fucking commercial holiday." I tell myself while flipping between Conan O'brien, Lost World Jurassic Park, and Casino
ding! My fish sticks are ready.
I bring in Valentines Day eating fish sticks, in sweatpants giving up.

If only I had a snuggie.

Fucking Jonas Brothers. I hope Hitchcock goes crazy and murders them all backstage.

That was horrible.

They kinda seem too damn nice.

"Stay out of the long grass!", ugh I hate the last part of Lost World. When the T-Rex runs around San Diego (run matt Louv run)

time to read some bukowski
dumb
dumb
dumb
blah love blah
dumb

Decisions

So I went home this weekend, no particular reason why. I just was stressed out in Olympia and had to get out and clear my head. I have some decisions coming up and I wanted advice from my old man and mom.

My Dad surprised me with my birthday gift: a 1974 red schwinn speedster bike. It is so cool. My mom took me out to lunch and got me a new cell phone that it is way to fancy for my technophobic ass.

I played catch with my dad, watched some of the pro bowl, and rode bikes with Donovan and Ari. I'm pretty sure Shari's gave me food poisoning also. Do Not Trust the Mashed Potatoes!

The big decision was about my fate with the beach cabin. Everyone was leaving I was freaking out about finding a place and what was going to happen with the safety deposit money. I found a place, an apartment in college court. It's simple, on a bus line, easy bike ride to school.

Then, my land lady called. She said she felt bad about what happened with me and offered my the ability to live in the cabin by myself for $300. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

My Dad and I put it on paper to see what would be cheapest in the long run. Even though rent at the beach cabin would be $25 cheaper than the apartment, factor in the electric bill that averages $100 bucks, and gas, and being all alone. The apartment ends up being more affodable and I'm looking forward to the change.

I know so many of you love coming over to my rural sanctuary where we have TV nights and can be super loud and hang out and enjoy the water. And I'm sad I will miss it in the spring time. And I will miss looking out into the water while I tackled my homework. I feel bad about putting the final nail in the coffin of a great gathering location. But this will affect me the most and I'm making the decision for me.

The final gathering will most likely be for my 21st birthday

What The?

Christian Bale goes crazy!

Hey it's February! Wooooooooooooooo

So G.I. Joe is going to be a movie. If that came out when I was kid I would freak the hell out, but I'm not so I just feel like me childhood nostalgia is being violated by Hollywood.

Think I might head up to La Conner This weekend.

Now You Know

THIS is not at all what I imagined Ira Glass looked like.

For one I had no idea there was a TV version of This American Life.

And another, for some reason I imagined he was black.

My world is shook.

Hey Life, What the Fuck?

Ah Fuck! I'm not gonna beat around the bush here guys, I've been pretty depressed. Probably for the past two weeks maybe more. I've been internalizing most of it too. I try to be happy and fun and hopeful, but FUCK. Blah blah, I'm sorry guys nobody wants to hear about this, I should just go to the shrinks at evergreen.
FUCK
And two of my roommates are leaving, which makes my the only remaining Original Gangster at the beach cabin. So I've grown to be fairly confident about myself since beginning college, but this roommate situation has me really second guessing myself. I mean think I'm a good guy and pretty easy to get along with. Uh.

Some people have real problems.

For some reason I might apply to be an intern at Nickelodeon.

Super Bowl this Sunday!

So I've been kind of joking about starting an Evergreen Wrestling Federation, but I'm actually serious. Though, Gen Friends takes up a lot of time. Maybe I'll start a group on facebook

Good News!

So it looks like one of my vices may have some good benefits.

Mustache or Mutton Chops

So this is a little ways off but, for Tasha's movie she wants me to shave so I look more like a high schooler. This will most likely take place during eval week.

But before I shave it all off I might as well have some fun with it.

So I'll take it to vote among my peers for my facial hair fashion I will sport before the total shave.

Mustache or Mutton Chops?

I can think of pros and cons to both.

Mutton Chops cons:
"hey another goofy chubby guy with mutton chops."
I might look like jack the ripper.
Pros:
I could like like an Irish captain
or detective

Mustache cons:
It ain't to thick so, it would easily be a creeper mustache
I might look more and more like a hipster
Pros:
HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!
I might look like a Police


currently leaning toward mustache .

The Wold is Mine

So this latest post on Stuff White People like captures so well how I feel about study abroad and taking a year off.

But, honestly deep down inside I actually really want to do just what the post describes.
Aside from the constant e-mails about how much better the food is and enlightenment.
I know, I'm a big ole hypocrite and it sounds silly being inspired by a movie(eye roll) but Benjamin Button really made me want to travel and do things with my young, powerful, and sexy body while I can. Carpe diem, seize the day!
I may do this after graduating, before going into teaching, I don't know when.

I've also been thinking about going a different direction at Evergreen. Not entirely, I want to have enough credits in history while gaining some skills in acting, film, and media production. This could mean staying in school longer.

Oh boy.

On Stumble

I was stumbling on the internet and I found this.
It's a pretty blog about pretty art with a pretty name, My Love for You is Like a Stamped of Horses.
I like the phrase a lot, so I'm going to write some of my own.

my love for you is like the Death Star blowing up Alderaan
my love for you is like a tsunami engulfing Sir Lanka
my love for you is like a forest fire in the summer
my love for you is like a whale jumping over an aircraft carrier
my love for you is like the King Dome imploding then putting itself back together again
my love for you is like Superman and The Hulk punching each other in the face
my love for you is like Mount Saint Helans erupting and turning Spirit Lake into a puddle
my love for you is like an avalanche falling into a volcano creating the deepest lake ever known

oh.............I hope I don't think love is violent and destructive.

how about this:
my love for you is like a warm blanket on a cold day
my love for you is like a raincoat shielding you from the rain
my love for you is like every warm grain of sand on a beach
my love for you is like a driftwood fort
my love for you is like a swimming pool full of cotton balls that you jump into from a swing

Yesterday

The Fire Inside

It took awhile to go to sleep last night. After much frustration I got up and went down stair to have a sandwich and read until about 4 in the morning.

A lot has been going through my head. I've even started forgetting a lot of things because of all the small trivial things that race around my brain. I'm afraid of being boring or not having an opinion about anything. Still trying to figure out what I want, like everybody else. I'm also in the middle of this diet thing and I'm probably doing it for all the wrong reasons. Truth is, I mostly want to lose weight and look sexy, I don't care about health. I'm to afraid to tell my mom when she offers to send cookies.

I want to be passionate about something
someone
I want to be a better person, I want to be good and righteous and hold a code of honor
I want to carry the fire and always listen to my gut
feeling that is
sometimes my gut gets me in trouble
judging swiftly without enough thought
I'm scared of compromising myself or what I believe in
or even knowing what I believe in to compromise
to learn from mistakes that I don't want to make
or intentionally make

Part of this is from freaking out about turning 21.
It's a lot easier to not be a drinker when you're underage, duh.
Also when people assume you don't want to drink, because of prior stances
Last year around this time a got drunk for the first time, since then I have become less afraid and a somewhat limited occasional drinker, but I haven't been drunk since then.
I will probably go along with the American 21 year old tradition of getting wasted on my big 21. I'm still not sure how I feel about this.
I want experience some things, yet I don't want to let people down
Let Myself down, eat my words for being harsh to the ones I love
I'm trying to learn not to be harsh, I think I've gotten better

I'm also afraid of what alcohol can do
I've seen its demons up close and hate it
I hate everything I've leaned from it
I've seen it ruin my parents marriage
Create a gap between me and my mom
Battle enraged step dads
I've seen it kill friends

At that same time I'm strangely attracted by the romanticism of it
Charles Bukowski
Being that gruff worn down and beaten guy
A bad ass anti-hero ordering whiskey in a Western
Hemingway
self-destructive romanticism

Other EmbarrassingThings

Besides my not so secret football blog

Evey time I get a new package of socks I leave one pair unworn. I save this fresh pair of socks until I have a date.

I actually want to travel to France and Spain (but I still hate them)

I love water slides and swimming pools, but I can't stand taking my shirt off in public.

So much so I may have forgot how to swim

I learned how to ride a bike when I was 20 years old.

I cried during the movie Phenomena starring John Travolta

I almost cried during The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and I loved the movie

Sugar Withdrawls

You never realize how many things have sugar in them until you try not to eat it.
God! Even the healthy cereals have sugar in them. oatmeal? bread?
So I'm letting things like those slide. The idea for this is to stop excessive sugar consumption.

My new roommate Evan bought some Reeses Puffs cereal the other day and it's driving me crazy. They're just sitting on the shelf looking so beautiful.

I went to the Olympia Supply Co. hardware store in downtown, it was amazing. I found everything I needed.

I also went to Wind Me Up toys and in their bathroom they had a germ light thing in the sink.

I hate New Years resolutions are dumb, ahhhhhhhhhh.